Communication to make people feel emotions: Difference between revisions

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Apparently [[Allism|allistic]] people often — perhaps even mostly — '''communicate to make the listener or listeners feel certain emotions'''.<ref name="make-feel" /><ref name="dee-newtsoda" />
Apparently [[Allism|allistic]] people often — perhaps even mostly — '''communicate to make the listener or listeners feel certain emotions''', not to share information.<ref name="make-feel" /><ref name="dee-newtsoda" />


This is important to bear in mind, as speaking to actually convey information might have the unintended side-effect of making people feel emotions.  Not only that, but it's so intuitive to allistic people that saying what you said would cause the emotion they felt that they'll assume you made them feel that way on purpose, ''even if you explain to them that it wasn't intentional'', because it's seen as "obvious" that it would have that effect.  This could easily lead them to believe you made them feel bad on purpose, then came up with an implausible lie to pretend you didn't.  If you can't lie, explaining that won't help, because again, such a claim sounds implausible to them.
This is important to bear in mind, as speaking to actually convey information might have the unintended side-effect of making people feel emotions.  Not only that, but it's so intuitive to allistic people that saying what you said would cause the emotion they felt that they'll assume you made them feel that way on purpose, ''even if you explain to them that it wasn't intentional'', because it's seen as "obvious" that it would have that effect.  This could easily lead them to believe you made them feel bad on purpose, then came up with an implausible lie to pretend you didn't.  If you can't lie, explaining that won't help, because again, such a claim sounds implausible to them.
Conversely, an allistic person might "helpfully" tell you a comforting [[white lie]] instead of telling you a painful truth, to try to cheer you up, or to avoid upsetting you in the first place.  As with other things (such as simplifying things by telling you ''roughly'' what time it is, for instance), they see this as a favour rather than as deception or frustrating.


This is one of those instances where a lot of patience, understanding, and credulity is required from all involved.
This is one of those instances where a lot of patience, understanding, and credulity is required from all involved.

Revision as of 16:45, 1 September 2022

Apparently allistic people often — perhaps even mostly — communicate to make the listener or listeners feel certain emotions, not to share information.[1][2]

This is important to bear in mind, as speaking to actually convey information might have the unintended side-effect of making people feel emotions. Not only that, but it's so intuitive to allistic people that saying what you said would cause the emotion they felt that they'll assume you made them feel that way on purpose, even if you explain to them that it wasn't intentional, because it's seen as "obvious" that it would have that effect. This could easily lead them to believe you made them feel bad on purpose, then came up with an implausible lie to pretend you didn't. If you can't lie, explaining that won't help, because again, such a claim sounds implausible to them.

Conversely, an allistic person might "helpfully" tell you a comforting white lie instead of telling you a painful truth, to try to cheer you up, or to avoid upsetting you in the first place. As with other things (such as simplifying things by telling you roughly what time it is, for instance), they see this as a favour rather than as deception or frustrating.

This is one of those instances where a lot of patience, understanding, and credulity is required from all involved.

References

  1. The Field Guilde to Earthlings, Star Ford, pages 78-79 and 105-106
  2. Twitter thread Newtsoda Dee